The bike ride from hell

I am on a mission to fight the plump body that I have been living in. I guess people say that to do this I need to some form of exercise (go figure)....My friend and I have been walking at least five days a week 2.4 miles a day! I know don't applaud it is just wonderful...We have been getting a little worn out on the walking though and decided the other night to ride bikes. We leave near the I&M canal which is what we call the tote path...so at around 7:20 we decide to start our bike ride. Now keep in mind that I am a big girl....riding a bike is a definite workout for me...even if its just around the block. The friend says..."lets just ride 20 minutes one way and then we will turn around and come back." Alright was she trying to kill me...I was ready to turn around when she said that it had only been six minutes. I thought that I was going to die! We are riding the grandma seat bikes sooo at this point my butt isn't really hurting...but that joy was still to come. We kept riding ...and riding ..and riding...I felt like 20 minutes was never coming....so friend says...i think we are almost to the next town...let's keep going...was she smoking crack...I felt like my heart was going to beat out of my chest and I still had to turn around and go home....HELL No i didn't want to keep going...but she is a persistant friend..and I am stupid..sooo I followed her...we made it to the next town in 40 minutes. Then I needed to rest for a bit....my ass was pounding...my heart was pounding....my legs were pounding...I wanted to kill her! So it's about 8:10 at this point and we rest for like five minutes and start to head back and at this point I am thinking that we are never going to make it back before dark. The tote path isn't the most friendly area...especially when it's starting to get dark (and if you remember from my useless facts ..I am afraid of the dark!) So...we begin on our journey back home. I am trying to peddle so fast but my body is just screaming for help....It's getting darker and darker...and there are so many bugs out..being right next to the canal...the insects were awful...I bet I ate about 1lb of nats..gross...we had passed a landmark to let us know that we were almost to the end of the path....I just started peddling...stopped talking and peddled my plump ass off...One i was tired and felt like croaking...second it was getting dark and I was getting a tad freaked out. We finally saw the end and I felt like Rocky after making it to the top of the stairs! We stopped real quick and looked at the map board to see how far we actually rode. It was 11 MILES! OMG! I haven't rode a bike in years....and before that it was probably around the block..and i just rode 11 miles! No wonder I can't feel my ass or my legs. I guess the battle of the plumpness is alot harder than all those books I have been reading make it sound...you figure you actually have to work and feel the burn...well...maybe I will take another bike ride soon...around the block sounds good! Enjoy your coffee.