Closing a chapter

I never thought that I would get so emotional when I realized I am no longer going to have anymore kids. My husband and I have three beautiful children now....and will forever. Tomorrow my husband goes in for "the big procedure." I am sitting here thinking....how strange to finally know that this is it. For as many things that suck about being pregnant...I think that the many great things out weigh the bad. I love getting those butterflies in my stomach when I thought that I might be pregnant...and then your brain goes into warp speed trying to imagine the next nine months...I would sit and just be amazed every single time when thinking about what is actually going on inside my body. I am creating life (with the help of Mr. Jo and God of course)...but this is all taking place inside my body. Just sit and think about that for a minute......what a miracle creating human life truly is. I remember the first time I heard my first daughters heart beat...I started crying....knowing that this small blessing was taking place....how Awesome! Everytime I heard the heart beat with all my pregnancies it was so breathtaking...and you just can't help but smile. :) I loved when I could finally feel the baby start to move inside of me....that feeling....is something sent straight from God. It is so sensational...magical...just amazing! I would be pregnant over and over again...just to get to experience that! There is soo much planning and dreaming...and preparing for these new little ones. It's very mind consuming. I had been pregnant some part of every year from 2003 to 2007...I know..crazy...but true. It was so much part of my life for almost four years. On certain days if you had asked I probably would have said I hated being pregnant...but on a general basis I loved it and wouldn't change doing it for one second! I got three beautiful little miracles out of it...and that makes everything worth it. Seeing those babies faces for the very first time....ahhh...true love. I did sure wonder after the first one how I could love another one as much as I loved her....but then number two came along...and he was loved just as much...and so was number three....all in their own ways :) I think every woman should be able to get to enjoy the wonderous adventure of being pregnant...it is for sure in my eyes on of God's greatest gifts. I thought for a long time maybe I would have one more....but am seeing that it just isn't in the plan. With Mr. Jo going tomorrow to sort of put an end to this chapter of our lives...it makes me sad a little bit. Knowing that I will never get to experience any of those things again....however I did get to experience it three times....which is more than I could ask for. I am looking forward to the future...seeing my three children grow into amazing people. So for now I might be a little sad...but sad with a smile...being able to close this chapter....and move onto a new one :)

Enjoy your coffee!!